Here's a weird thing I've come across a few times when writing memoir.
I have a memory that I feel must be inaccurate.
Example:
I'm currently writing a wedding scene. I feel my brother must have been there, but I have absolutely no memory of his being there. Zero. So my feeling is to write the scene without him. This is my memory, after all. But it's highly possible he was there. I could ask him. And he might confirm that he was there, but would that matter? When I have no memory of his being there? Is memoir all about writing it the way you remember it? I think it is.
That's why it's called memoir, not documentoir.
ReplyDeletei kind of like documentoir. :D i've been following reactions to the ron reagan memoir and everybody remembers things differently. sometimes a lot differently.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure we've all had arguments with people about the facts surrounding events we've shared. Sometimes, it makes me wonder if I'm crazy because I remember something so totally differently than someone else does.
ReplyDeleteMJ, memory is so fascinating. I think it's deeply tied to emotion, so it's not really trustworthy. in dealing with my dad's dementia, i've noticed that many or most of his remaining memories are tied to emotional events.
ReplyDeleteYou have to go by your own memories. If he wasn't there in your head, he can't be there on the page.
ReplyDeletewhew. glad to hear that, patti. i mean, that's what i've been thinking all along, and yet i know people will complain.
ReplyDeleteI just wrote about something similar in my journal the other night. I remember an event that the other three members of my family don't remember in exactly the same way. I still wrote what's in my head. It's all I've got. Wouldn't anything else be dishonest?
ReplyDelete