ABOUT ANNE FRASIER

Anne Frasier (a.k.a. Theresa Weir) is a New York Times and USA Today bestselling and award-winning author of thirty books. Her memoir, The Orchard, was an Oprah Magazine Fall Pick, Number Two on the October Indie Next List, a B+ featured title in Entertainment Weekly, a One Book One Community Read, Target Book Club Pick, and Books-A-Million Book Club Pick.


Saturday, July 9, 2011

SHE'S NOT THERE



Yesterday I visited an apple orchard for the first time in fifteen years because my publishing house hired a company to make a book video for The Orchard. On the way there, I thought I was going to black out, and every time I imagined getting that first glimpse of the orchard, my heart slammed in my chest. I had to stop at a café for a drink. Not a booze drink, although that might have been better, but just a glass of green tea so I could collect and fortify myself.

But once I got to the orchard, I was okay. Partially because it was very small and the trees were scattered, not in rows, not symmetrical. Not the kind of orchard I was used to seeing, if not for real anymore, at least in my mind. But it was still odd, because it felt like I was pretending to be someone I haven’t been in years. The girl in book, the girl in The Orchard. I’m not that person anymore. I haven’t been that person for a long time. The person I am now hadn’t stepped foot in an orchard for fifteen years until yesterday. And the person I am now started eating apples again not long ago. Until recently, I couldn’t even look at an apple, and don’t get me started about cider. The word alone gives me a little hitch in my throat not unlike a gag. So yesterday was very odd and surreal. Most of The Orchard (the book, not the place) is about my twenty-something self, and I think the idea was to capture the mood and setting of the book, except that now I’m a curmudgeon who recoils and lifts my black cape to the sun.

I wonder if readers will expect me to be that person in the book, or will they understand that she's gone?

4 comments:

  1. I understand she's gone, and can't even imagine you as her. But understanding that she was you, makes me understand who you are now.
    ---B

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  2. I'm not sure what readers will expect from you or that their expectations in that regard even matter. I'd imagine awareness of your current curmudgeony self would put readers at ease, a kind of assurance to them that you survived the story you shared.

    Heather

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  3. That's such an interesting thought about memoirs in general. Certainly by the time most are published the writer has changed in some way. I always think of memoirs as a snapshot into a person's life at a particular time.

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  4. Thanks, gals. The whole nonfiction thing is such a different world for me. I'm trying to take everything as it comes, but sometimes I stop and have to admit that some things are freaking me out a bit. I'm guessing that's pretty normal.

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